The customer experience of neighbours

As you collect the keys to your shiny new house you are filled with excitement and anticipation of a new chapter in your life as a physical new door is opened. This innocent youthful enthusiasm is somewhat tempered by the experience of age that challenges your decision and questions if you researched every element in enough detail. Do you know how much insulation is in the roof? When was the damp-course last checked?  Is all the wiring professionally done and tested?   These questions and a thousand other doubts flash through your thoughts alongside the euphoria of being the proud owner of your new castle. Unless your new abode is an island with the safe boundaries of miles of water this new acquisition will come with neighbours who will now be a part of your everyday lives. This unknown is something we can do nothing about until we are in situ and living, breathing the experience. The realities of this mean you really can't choose your neighbours and it is pot luck which of the following you end up with - 

The in-your-face neighbours 

Nice folk who mean well but hijack you every chance they get finding you outside your home for a protracted conversation you cannot escape from.

The phantom neighbours

You know they still live there but are never seen entering or exiting their homes. 

The do-gooder neighbours 

Sometimes they can be spliced with the "in-your-facers" but these neighbours will be leading the neighbour watch scheme and a shoulder to cry on for anyone in the near proximity 

The black sheep neighbours 

In a row of perfect lawns theirs is the one with three foot high grass and weeds coming through the drive higher than their unwashed car. 

The nutjob neighbours

Completely random in every interaction and generally avoided by the entire street including the in-your-facers but to be found arguing on their drive with the local charity collection people about the price of fish.