1) impossible contact options. Hidden in the depths is a contact number for a telephone locked away in a cupboard nobody will ever hear ring. Fail.
2) over promised offers that fail to deliver. The hard sell enticement that lures you in only to mystically disappear upon entry. Fail.
3) complexity to baffle even the most nerdy customer. Where am I in the digital journey and what am I supposed to do next? Fail.
4) love you then leave you. Huge attention right up to the point of purchase closely followed by absolutely nothing. Fail.
5) spamming you for feedback after every touch point. Having made some effort to use their service you are then battered for feedback on how much you loved it even if you haven't done anything yet. Fail.
6) Monday to Friday 9-5 with an hour for lunch and finish early every other Friday. When the opportunity to get some customer service is so restricted that you can never be around to use it. Fail.
7) personalised journeys that completely miss the point. Offer me a discount on a new car when I am looking at bicycles. Fail.
8) pricing that has a life of its own changing seemingly at random with little or no explanation and certainly nothing that could be understood by any normal individual. Fail.
9) style over substance. Websites that swoosh and dazzle your eyes only to offer utter rubbish and tell you nothing meaningful about what your looking for. Fail.
10) like me buttons on everything. Ooh you used our next page option. Like me! You looked at our page on opening times. Like me! Fail.
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